Sunday, August 30, 2009
Coda
A Dream Revised, my focus is back. I may not have put the effort that I would have liked in this class due to... well, just having too much to do. However, this class has had the greatest impact on me, my life, and my future....I'm back to dreaming again. I dream to allow my students to dream and more importantly my own family to dream.
Telling The WE Story
What do WE want to have happen here?
My legacy is my impetus for doing what I do making me directly responsible for my actions in my everyday life vital. I often ponder the life of my children and their children based on the life that I lead today. This is why I work as hard as I do. I want to have a "We" story. This practice that allows me to connect with my family in a way that gets them to trust in what Daddy is doing will benefit them in the end.
Two summers ago I was living a selfish life. I felt that all the energy that I was expending to please my family was useless because I couldn't see any benefit in it. So my life became and "I" story. I begin to do things that put the security of my family in jeopardy, but I didn't know it at the time, mainly because I was too caught in doing what I wanted to do. However, I went to a Men's Conference in late July and man spoke about living a legacy. He mentioned how we should not be living for our own lives today, but instead we should be setting up a life for our children and their children. He said that is the only way we can and will hold ourselves accountable for our immediate actions. Feeling extremely guilty, I begin to review my sins and new I had to face the reality of the mess that my selfishness created and beg for forgiveness. However, I was afraid, I didn't know how to tell the "We" story. I had drifted so far away that once making myself vulnerable, I knew I would be obliterated. God told me to confess and I didn't. Then He told me that he would not let me leave the year 2008 until I revealed my sins or I was exposed through other means. Still afraid to find the "We" story, my wife told me that we were pregnant. I cried for three weeks, not that we were having another baby, but because I felt unfit to be a father. I had to find our "We" story. So, in front of the church I confessed and began
the process of reconciliation and my eyes were immediately opened. It is about all of us. In order to have a true vision and see all the possibilities, all of us involved and all those I affect must be included in the story: The "We" story. My life has changed; much more challenging, but much more rewarding all because "Me" stepped out of the way and "I" became "We".
My legacy is my impetus for doing what I do making me directly responsible for my actions in my everyday life vital. I often ponder the life of my children and their children based on the life that I lead today. This is why I work as hard as I do. I want to have a "We" story. This practice that allows me to connect with my family in a way that gets them to trust in what Daddy is doing will benefit them in the end.
Two summers ago I was living a selfish life. I felt that all the energy that I was expending to please my family was useless because I couldn't see any benefit in it. So my life became and "I" story. I begin to do things that put the security of my family in jeopardy, but I didn't know it at the time, mainly because I was too caught in doing what I wanted to do. However, I went to a Men's Conference in late July and man spoke about living a legacy. He mentioned how we should not be living for our own lives today, but instead we should be setting up a life for our children and their children. He said that is the only way we can and will hold ourselves accountable for our immediate actions. Feeling extremely guilty, I begin to review my sins and new I had to face the reality of the mess that my selfishness created and beg for forgiveness. However, I was afraid, I didn't know how to tell the "We" story. I had drifted so far away that once making myself vulnerable, I knew I would be obliterated. God told me to confess and I didn't. Then He told me that he would not let me leave the year 2008 until I revealed my sins or I was exposed through other means. Still afraid to find the "We" story, my wife told me that we were pregnant. I cried for three weeks, not that we were having another baby, but because I felt unfit to be a father. I had to find our "We" story. So, in front of the church I confessed and began
the process of reconciliation and my eyes were immediately opened. It is about all of us. In order to have a true vision and see all the possibilities, all of us involved and all those I affect must be included in the story: The "We" story. My life has changed; much more challenging, but much more rewarding all because "Me" stepped out of the way and "I" became "We".
Creating Frameworks for Possibility
The speaker of the vision is transformed because the real world becomes the universe of possibilities and all obstacles that are in the way dissipate. Funny how this is point number 7 in this chapter. 7 is my favorite number and spiritually is implied as God's number of completion. Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people will perish. Interesting how this book has elevated my faith. I've said before that I have been on the brink of giving up, but being reminded that all things are possible has refreshed my mind, my heart and my soul. I haven't ran in two weeks and it has been aching me. Running is my liberation, but because of everything going on, I didn't care. I had lost sight of the vision and that usually happens when you close your eyes to avoid the problems. "How fascinating!" I've realized my mistake and I'm excited. Just like the prisoner's spirits being lifted through the compelling music of Mozart's Marriage of Figaro, my glow is back and I'm ready to start all over and get this Full Sail thing right, No Matter What and this is only the beginning. The Sky is not my limit, only the next stage.
Being The Board
Being the board was something I wish my wife would read or listen to. As I laugh, I realize that indeed it is I who truly needed the application of what the Zander’s were attempting to imply. The scripture that requires me to love my wife as Christ loves the church is always on my right shoulder as is anger is on my left. I get upset because I don’t feel supported in what I’m doing. Knowing that I have a tremendous amount of work to complete, I still have to run after little Jackson as he exhorts his 15 month old exuberance or get dinner ready, or go to the store, or do this or do that. When the money comes up short, instead of realizing that we are working on one income she doesn’t want to work anymore doesn’t matter. As the argument lives into the night, it is always me that has to come to the table and make things right. Though I didn’t begin the argument, because I did do what was necessary to keep it from becoming an argument, I’m guilty. I grew up constantly analyzing myself wondering what I could have done differently in every situation that seemed to not go the way it was planned. I’m the board. Funny thing is, I was in the blaming mood right before I listened to this practice and quickly resorted to obedience. Being the board is not option for me. My marriage is a testament to that.
Lighting A Spark
"Giving Yourself as a Possibility to others... 1. imagine that people are an invitation 2. stand ready to be moved and inspired 3. offer that which lights you up 4. Have no doubt that others want what you have."
I don't know what took me so long to read this book, but the timing is simply perfect. 12 years of teaching sometimes seems in vain when I walk through the school doors and new loads are dumped on me with no regard to my capacity to handle nor how anything connected with my personal passions. With spirits uplifted while doing these latest blogs, I'm very inspired by this practice of Lighting A Spark. As I listened to the section on Eastlea: A "Failing" School and Anthony, I realized how much of a spark that I have been and because others have noticed, they entrust me with more responsibility to enable me the opportunity to be more of an impact. I saw the beginning of this year as a burden, a yoke too heavy to carry. Yet, God put me on this Earth to be a spark to the once failing student and school; to that wired kid whom everyone else had given up on; to my own family as I open myself up to be used as a servant. This practice; was a good reminder going into week 2 of this school year. I already know who needs a fire lit under them and my fervor for what I do will once again consume me and this will be a phenomenal year and the kids will benefit from it all.
I don't know what took me so long to read this book, but the timing is simply perfect. 12 years of teaching sometimes seems in vain when I walk through the school doors and new loads are dumped on me with no regard to my capacity to handle nor how anything connected with my personal passions. With spirits uplifted while doing these latest blogs, I'm very inspired by this practice of Lighting A Spark. As I listened to the section on Eastlea: A "Failing" School and Anthony, I realized how much of a spark that I have been and because others have noticed, they entrust me with more responsibility to enable me the opportunity to be more of an impact. I saw the beginning of this year as a burden, a yoke too heavy to carry. Yet, God put me on this Earth to be a spark to the once failing student and school; to that wired kid whom everyone else had given up on; to my own family as I open myself up to be used as a servant. This practice; was a good reminder going into week 2 of this school year. I already know who needs a fire lit under them and my fervor for what I do will once again consume me and this will be a phenomenal year and the kids will benefit from it all.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Way Things Are
It is what it is. These past three weeks have been brutal for me. Dealing with death in the family, change of income due to my wife not working, my job responsibilities were changed without warning and trying to finish a thesis paper in the midst of beginning a brand new school year that imposes challenges that I've never faced before. I found myself this weekend with my face in my hands wondering how I was going to make it. The stress has set in and I initially have lost vision to the reality of my situation. It is what it is. I can't change my present situation I can only affect the outcome, and I had to keep moving forward. I remembered why I started this program and once again the possibilities that were presented to me at the beginning began to come back to mind. My approach to the way things are determines how successful I will be. Right now I don't know what is going to happen. I'm not going to have my paper done due to the demand of my time elsewhere, however, does that mean my progression in my passion stops? No! it is what it is and I'll keep moving forward. As I was battling through all of this, I found myself listening to the radio which is rare for me. A song came on that reopened my eyes to the possibilities of success in the midst of my current struggles. The song reminded me that my faith has never been in my own ability to conquer the obstacles in front of me, but the faith is built on knowing that I serve a savior who is my strength in the midst of trouble. Jesus is the I Am and since it is what it is, I realize He is what it is and it will all work out for my good.
Here is the video for the song that helped me through this week and has enabled me to go on in spite of the way things are.
Here is the video for the song that helped me through this week and has enabled me to go on in spite of the way things are.
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